Monday, January 26, 2009

Do You Hold Back?

Every one has secrets in personal life. Those secrets people do not share with any one no matter what. Situation gets out of the ordinary when deeper feelings are withheld between life partners – those living together, having common dreams and goals. Does sharing of the private things by husband give his wife power over the former? Or does holding back from each other spoil relations and home milieu that is the basis of trust and dependence.People have deeply personal or even ordinary secrets they do not share with any one because they think that the revelation may make them vulnerable. It may give the partner some power over them. But, power is abstract, an influence one can exercise over others.Consider this example: The husband shares with is his wife something about his own brothers, sisters or parents. Say, he tells his wife, “Dear, we need to go to them more often, we need to take care of mother or an upcoming marriage of sister’s daughter.”The wife replies, “You have already done so much for each one of them. You have always been taking care of every thing. Now it is high time that they should take care of themselves and you should concentrate more on your own home. Our children are also growing up.” Unconsciously, with that a few unthinking, conclusive sentences, the wife stop her husband from sharing any more on the subject. So, in the situation, the husband may begin to secretly set aside money to save for taking care of his parents. In doing so, the first step is taken: a secret is withheld. In the years to come, the husband will begin to hesitate to share with his wife because he does not want to feel powerless.
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Wives keep secrets from their husbands as well. The wife wants to buy a new microwave oven, or wants to change old curtains or aging furniture. So, she asks her husband, “Dear, we need to go in for a new microwave.” The husband replies from over the file he has brought from office to work home, “We cannot afford it.” Unconsciously, the husband imposes his authority and the wife feels she is no more in command of the financial situation. So, in the situation just described, the wife may begin to secretly keep away money from her household budget to save for a microwave oven, for curtains or furniture items. In doing so, again sharing is stopped.
Sounds like a storm in a teacup? But, consider what happens around and you will find that withholding of secrets start from just about as minor incidents, events, not necessarily having financial implications. Things keep adding over time. Personal feelings are more fragile than we realise. People feel the loss of power very easily. It does not take much to draw back and hold secrets. Sometime, one look, one gesture from the spouse is enough. Whenever any thing is withheld, behind it is an unspoken plea: You do not understand my needs, my fears, my hopes, my wishes, my aspirations.And behind every reaction is an unspoken attitude. When the husband instantly replies, we cannot afford a microwave oven; he also says without words, I do not care if you are inconvenienced. Instead, if he were to put down his work for a moment, nod sympathetically and ask, what do you think would be easier on our pockets — repairing this one or going for a new one? This way he could have shown his involvement with her predicament, yet draw her attention to his.Likewise, when the wife smiles disbelievingly and replies, “You have already done enough for every one,” she is also communicating wordlessly, “I do not care about your family.” Instead, if she were to say quietly, “Would you like to talk about it? How should we be able to balance every thing out? ” She would have shown him that she is with him in his concerns and he would not feel the need to retreat.
What should be done in situation like this and so many others like this? The husband and wife each can bring strength to a relationship. Without one or the other, the relationship would not exist. So, neither should feel disempowered by the other. Rather, when one partner is seeking, is doubtful, is troubled, the other should share his or her power constructively, encouragingly, supportively rather than further restricting, suppressing or limiting the already-troubled partner. Once couples understand this idea of individual power and that each contributes his or hers to the relationship, their going gets a lot easier. And it does not need a degree in physiology.The next step is to become involved and listen. For example, when the wife wants to talk out her needs, is it so important for the husband to continue what he is doing; watching television or reading newspaper? Or, when the husband wants to talk, is it necessary for the wife to continue what ever she happens to be doing? The most important thing is to stop every thing and listen. The listening partner has a false idea of time — the idea that If I do not finish this now, I will never finish it.This makes the relationship functional rather than loving. Priority must be to make time to listen to each other. It may mean a messier house or missing your favourite TV programme, but it will certainly make for a more sharing and caring relationship with no troubled, fearful, unresolved secrets hovering like invisible barriers in the mind.After having live my own life and seeing so many others in my circle, one more step that comes to mind is equally important. Never assume that you know your spouse inside-out. When the wife talks about buying a new microwave and the husband thinks, “Oh, there she goes again, always wanting to spend money!” He does not share his feelings; he holds it back with his cynicism. Similarly, when the husband talks about his parents and the wife thinks, “Oh, he is at it again.” She does not share openly. She holds it back with her dislike.Finally, always put yourself in the shoes of the other. By imagining how it feels, the listening partner jerks himself or herself to awareness of his or her feeling. And the best way to use it is by sharing it! As much as a good relationship is a cozy co-existence where you live and let live, it is also a trusting, concerned, open-hearted co-existence where you live and help live.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Making Money Online in Pakistan

Blogging is no more a new phenomenon in Pakistan. Many Pakistani online users are writing their own and rest are reading others' blogs and interacting in meaningful ways. Their voice is being heard in the blogsphere. Getting paid for blogging is still a new idea in Pakistan though.There are reasons for this. Ironically, corporate Pakistan is yet not aware of blogs as economical, effective and interactive marketing tool. Like anywhere else, blogs can be a welcome mat for local businesses to reach out across the world but this has not started happening yet. Which is why Pakistan blogsphere can be characterized by only anti-establishment, noncommercial write-ups and rants. Exceptions aside, Pakistan blogs are mainly personal where bloggers post purely because of their own interests.
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One wonder why local businesses have failed to notice the growing readership and influence of these Internet postings and the buzz corporate blogging can create particularly as a process of Search Engine Marketing, targeting online segment of consumers. But this is not about how Pakistani businesses can harness the power of blogs to reach out. This is about the options available to Pakistan bloggers to get paid for their work online.Payments by most online advertising programs and affiliates are made through Paypal - widely used online money transfer service. Sadly, Paypal is not available in Pakistan so far. This alone puts Pakistan bloggers at a great disadvantage because without paypal account they cannot join most of the programs.That said Pakistan bloggers are exceptionally good (and I am not being ethnocentric here). They have acumen for corporate writing. Their language and blogging skills and networking capabilities can be compared with any bloggers' community in the world. Internet coverage and users base is constantly growing. Even trend to shop online is taking off. Given chance, all this can indirectly help in efforts to make making through blogging.Despite the odds, some of the savvy Pakistan bloggers are already using different methods to make money from blogs; Google AdSense advertising program being the first choice. Google pays through check and is liberal in taking small blogs in their program. Only recently, Google has started paying in Pakistan through Western Union and now bloggers here don't have to wait for 40 long days to get their checks cleared through normal banking channels or pay them $ 7 for every transaction.Google's AdSense program, which started in 2003 and pays Web publishers including bloggers based on how many times advertisements on their sites receive clicks. Google places the ads on participating Web sites using contextual word matching, in an attempt to ensure that the advertisements relate to the content on the page. Users' friendly AdSense also offers the opportunity to monetize site searches while providing a powerful, fast search engine for blogs sites. Google places relevant ads along with search results pages. Clicks on these ads also earn the site owner revenue. Earnings are not big mainly because there are not many local ads in Google's AdWord inventory. "Things are changing," says Badar Khushnud, Google country representative, "as Pakistan businesses have started using AdWord program."AdBrite and Bidvertiser - both click based advertising programs that make payments through checks - closely follow AdSense.Bloggers can also make money through "affiliate networks," which, in contrast to Google's automated system, allow blog writers to choose which advertisements to put on their pages. They also can be paid based on how often ads on their sites lead to sales rather than how often the ads receive clicks. I have experience with Text Link Ads (they pay through check) and it is fun working with them. They sell space off my blogs and I have control over what appears on my multiple blogs.Then, businesses and organizations from all over the world offer to pay bloggers for mentioning them, their products and or services in blogs in order to create an online buzz, get more traffic and better page rank. Many online services like Pay Per Post, Sponsored Review, Loud Launch - paypal required - and Reviewme to name just a few, have come up. These services manage growing demands by advertisers and arrange supply through interested bloggers. Few months ago, I had signed up for Reviewme because they also pay through check. Reviewme offers products or services for review. I write about whatever I like and they pay me fifty percent of what they charge the advertisers. This arrangement works fine for me.I have tried with merchandising through my blogs as well. Attempt to sell my own books (and the one I had translated) was a good experience. While I did not have a lot of success with merchandising - I am sure other bloggers can see this as an opportunity to make some money from blogs by selling products. That is not all. Bloggers can sell branded products whatever way their entrepreneurial heart desires using CafePress by creating and adding online store's link to blogs and CafePress will do the rest. There are so many more ways to earn money by blogging for those who are interested in earning using blogs. Driven by demand, more advertising programs, affiliates and sponsors and others are coming up every day. Bloggers can experiment with different programs that suit them and can create diverse stream of earnings.A word of caution; earning through blogging does require persistent postings of quality contents and blog promotion. Best is to keep blogging for joy and monetize blogs on the side; keeping money making expectations realistic. It is a long and slow process. Only "17 percent of most popular bloggers in NYC earn more than thousand dollars a month. That leaves a whooping 83 percent earning less," revealed a NYC Blogger Summit Survey earlier this year. But again these figures are relative.Blogging is a creative activity and fun. Most bloggers enjoy blogging. That is why they are blogging in the first place. Now let's think about getting paid for blogging
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visit http://paypalinpakistan.com/

Disclosure Policy

Disclosure Policy January 25, 2009
This blog is a collaborative blog written by a group of individuals. This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation. The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post may not always be identified as paid or sponsored content. The owner(s) of this blog is compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner(s) of this blog receives compensation for our posts or advertisements, we always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers' own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.
This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.

How Old Are You ?

How Old Are You ? January 25, 2009

When you were 8 years old, your dad handed you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over your lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house. When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he cried and told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. Mon papa merveilleux (my father is fabulous).
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
Respect thy parents if you love them.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

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